Frequently Asked Questions 🦋

I Choose Me is a live 90-minute workshop with Toska. She walks through her own story: the good girl conditioning, leaving a 17-year abusive relationship, divorcing, becoming a single mum, and rebuilding her confidence, health, finances, and peace. You leave with a real framework you can use straight away to stop abandoning yourself. It costs £79 (about $99).

No. It is held live and is not recorded. Your booking is your access to the live session.

Many Butterflies is a monthly membership community for women choosing themselves, wherever they are in that. You get voice notes and writing from Toska and an ongoing conversation with other members on the same path. It runs on Telegram and costs £5 / $7 a month, about the price of a coffee.

Good news first: joining the community does not share your phone number with anyone. Telegram works through usernames rather than phone numbers, so other members only ever see the name and photo you choose. The only people who can see your number are those who already have it saved in their own phone, and admins cannot see members' numbers at all. To hide your number (about a minute): 1. Open Telegram and go to Settings. 2. Tap Privacy and Security, then Phone Number. 3. Set "Who can see my phone number" to Nobody. 4. Set "Who can find me by my number" to My Contacts, or Nobody for maximum privacy. 5. Set a username so people can still reach you. In Settings, tap your name at the top, choose Username and pick one. People will then contact you by that, never your number.

Yes, any time. The current month is not refunded, but you keep access until the end of the period you have paid for.

Beyond hiding your number, a few quick settings keep your whole account locked down: 1. Turn on Two-Step Verification under Privacy and Security, so a password is needed alongside your login code. 2. Set "Who can add me to groups and channels" to My Contacts, so strangers cannot add you to other groups. 3. Turn off Sync Contacts and People Nearby if you would rather not be discoverable that way. 4. Limit Last Seen and Online, profile photo, and forwarded messages to My Contacts or Nobody, all under Privacy and Security. 5. For one-to-one chats you want extra protected, use a Secret Chat, which is fully end to end encrypted, or set a self-destruct timer. Once these are set, your number stays hidden everywhere on Telegram, including inside Many Butterflies, and your account is locked down.

Learning to Fly is Toska's 10-week course and the deepest version of this work. It runs entirely online, so you can take part from anywhere in the world. It costs £1,495 / $1,999 and is coming soon. The questions below describe how it runs.

Over 10 weeks you get a weekly teaching session with Toska covering the real frameworks. Not fluffy affirmations, but tools you can actually use. You also meet weekly with your pod, a small group of 8 to 10 women who become your people for the whole journey. Everything happens online, so you can join from anywhere in the world. It is designed to feel intimate, not like a lecture.

It is the heart of the experience. Instead of sitting in a large group where you never quite feel seen, you are placed in a small group led by a trained facilitator. Same women each week, in a small group. Real conversations happen, and women know each other's names by week two.

They are women who know this work from the inside out, not coaches reading from a script. They are trained to hold space, ask the right questions, and make sure nobody gets lost in the group.

The teaching sessions are live, and replays are available. Your pod calls are live and not recorded. That is where the real work happens, so showing up matters.

Plan for around 3 to 4 hours a week. One teaching session, one pod call, and light between-session practice. Not homework, more a matter of living differently.

Life happens. Teaching session replays are always available. For pod calls, your facilitator makes sure you are caught up, though we ask you to show up as much as you can, because your presence matters to the other women in your group.

Women who are done just getting through the day. Whether you are rebuilding after a relationship, finding your footing as a single mum, or simply realising the life you have been living does not quite feel like yours, you are in the right place. If something in you is ready, that is enough.

No, and it is important to be clear about that. This is structured transformation work, not a substitute for professional mental health support. If you are working with a therapist, this can sit alongside that work. If you are not sure whether you need therapeutic support first, trust that instinct and speak to someone.

Not at all. Some women come to this in the thick of it. Others come when the dust has settled and they realise they want more than just survival. Both are welcome.

No. That is where many women find their way here, but the work goes deeper than any single relationship. It is about understanding the patterns you carry, learning to trust yourself, and building a life that actually feels chosen. Women arrive for many different reasons and find they needed it for the same one.

Most of what Toska runs is online, so you can take part from anywhere in the world. I Choose Me, Many Butterflies, and Learning to Fly are all online. Toska does plan to host in-person programmes and where something is in-person it will always say so clearly.

Payment is taken securely at checkout. Prices are shown in pounds and dollars where both apply, and your bank handles the exact conversion. I Choose Me is a one-off payment. Many Butterflies is billed monthly.

For paid workshops and courses, cancel at least 7 days before the start date and you receive a full refund. Once it has started, we are unable to offer refunds. For Many Butterflies, you can cancel any time; we do not refund the current billing period, but you keep access until it ends. Your rights under applicable consumer laws are always protected. If something unexpected happens in your life, reach out and we will have a human conversation. Full details are in our [Terms of Service](/terms).

Yes. Toska takes paid speaking engagements and is open to podcasts, interviews, brand collaborations and press. She speaks on relationships, self-worth, the psychology behind why we stay stuck, the impact of patriarchy on women and men, rebuilding after divorce or major life change, motherhood, identity, and the patterns that hold people back from the life they want. For enquiries, email hello@transformwithtoska.com.